


Lost Search

by braillee



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, poor dipdop, who is supposedly dead, young adult longs for childhood crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 08:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18568012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braillee/pseuds/braillee
Summary: Mason Pines is an 18 year old freshman in college. However, he can't focus on his work, or on his life, at all. Having been wracked with nightmares for months, hope for a life worth living was slipping through Mason's fingers.Perhaps the only way to sort things out about his past was to revisit it, and risk resurfacing some harsh memories in the process.





	Lost Search

**Author's Note:**

> This was really a spur of the moment idea, but now I can't get it out of my head. I spent the past hour typing out this first chapter, and I want to spend many more continuing this story. I hope you enjoy it! It's been a while since I've been this motivated about a series.

Clasping his hands together, the brunette prayed, kneeling at the foot of the pine. It had been six years since the demon had been banished from their quaint little town, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Mason missed him dearly. 

The two had become close. Whether it was out of genuine love or a forced attraction caused by Bill’s wish to use the boy, the mortal couldn’t help but feel attached to him. So many times had he tried to summon him again. Every time he and Mabel came to Oregon, Mason found himself kneeling at this tree by that overgrown statue. His heartstrings were tugged at every time he set foot on the soil of this town. Even now, he felt his eyes watering from loss. He knew in his head that getting rid of Bill was the right thing to do, but his heart spoke otherwise.

“Pinetree.”

Tensing at hearing the breathy nickname, Mason’s head snapped behind him almost instantly. However, to his dismay, nothing was there. Of course there wasn’t. No one was ever there, it was just his mind playing tricks on him again. That being the breaking point, he felt a lump catch in his throat before a sob left him, a loud one, at that. He would never be able to see the one he felt so dearly for again. Never. It was all in the past and he could never hear that bright laugh ever again. 

“Dipper.” The voice again. No, it couldn’t be. Why did his mind wish to deceive him so much like this? It hurt, and it hurt badly. All he wanted was to go back. Hands gripping onto his chocolate hair, tears continued to fall below him onto the tree roots. 

“Diiippeeer.” The voice rang once again. God, he just wanted it to leave him alone with his emotions. Mumbling little phrases such as ‘go away’ and ‘shut up’ repeatedly under his breath, Mason covered his ears tightly, not wanting to remove them from the sides of his head, not ever again if this continued like this. It hurt too much. He just wanted to block it out. Just go away, go away and stop the torment. His heart was already hurting too much.

“DIPPER!” Mabel yelled, shaking her brother awake with one last nudge. Brown eyes wide in worry, Mason rubbed his eyes as he pushed through the dreamy haze. Muttering lines of gibberish, the teen felt as his twin wiped the tears that were soaking his cheeks. With a last grumble, the boy sat up, wiping his eyes for himself. After he did so, he squinted at the room around him, it was his room. His room in Piedmont, California. Mason was in his room, not in Gravity Falls. Thank god. That was a dream. Just a dream.

“Another nightmare?...” Mabel pushed her lips into a small pout, obviously trying to be funny but not being able to hide her obvious concern for Mason. He hadn’t been able to sleep that well since Weirdmageddon, even less the past month or two. Neither of them knew what was going on, but it was concerning them both.  
Nodding lightly, Mason rubbed his bloodshot eyes again, hoping to rub the sleep out of them, but that was damn near impossible at this point. He had been experiencing symptoms of insomnia, and whenever he tried to sleep, he just had nightmare after nightmare. It was draining him and it was making him lose focus on his schoolwork.

After a hugfest and a concern party hosted by Mabel and her feelings, Mason decided to pull on the same outfit he had worn the past week and stumbled downstairs, hair a mess. All he got was more concern from his parents, who he had learned how to tune out his sophomore year of high school. Grabbing a cup of coffee and loading it with sugar and creamer, Mason sat at the dinner table near the window. Looking out at the bright sunny California skies, he couldn’t help but compare it to how he felt emotionally. Inside, he was foggy and full of devastating storms that beat at his heart like a hurricane. God, he’d honestly prefer a drought to this.

Mason was pulled back to reality when a heaping plate of pancakes and bacon was placed in front of him, making a clinking noise against the wooden table. Mabel smiled down at him with a huge grin like she does. It was weird seeing her without braces. She had them nearly all of their childhood, and had recently had them removed, so it was weird seeing his twin sister without them. Forcing a half smile towards her as she chirped a “Bon Appetite!”, Mason turned his head towards the plate. They both smelt and looked delicious, but he couldn’t help but feel his stomach turn. Nausea filled him at the thought of eating right now. Ever since the nightmares got worse, so did his appetite. He couldn’t eat much of anything without feeling sick.

Picking up the fork he was given, the brunette started to cut a small piece of his pancake off. Picking it up, he gulped and stared at it for a little while before hesitantly putting it into his mouth. Years ago, he would’ve gobbled these down like he was starving, but now he just… couldn’t. It hurt too much.  
Eating a few more small bites and a piece of bacon, Mason felt bile rise to his throat, burning and making him feel even worse. Standing up quickly, he tried to excuse himself politely before rushing to the nearest bathroom, where he emptied his stomach of what little he ate. After that, he dry heaved for a few minutes before collapsing over the toilet in another fit of sobs.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t live in this eternal torment of back and forth black and white emotions. It had been years, he should be over it. So why was he experiencing this? Shouldn’t he be over it after six fucking years?!

Shoving a lid’s full of mouthwash in his mouth and swishing it, he spat it out down the drain and flushed the toilet directly after. Washing his hands, he scrubbed them twice, spacing out in the middle of it, thinking about that demon again. Bill was gone. He was gone. He was never coming back and could never come back. Even so, something still brought Mason to want to go back. To stay in Gravity Falls to search for the one true answer. To finally sort everything out for his sanity. Should he, though? Or would it end up just being worse for him?

Splashing cold water in his face, Mason walked out of the bathroom, immediately greeted by a variety of concerned questions from Mabel again. All he could think about was leaving. Going to Gravity Falls to solve this once and for all and vanquish the demons infesting his dreams and his life. He just wanted to be able to live like a normal college student and have a normal, happy life. As Mabel hugged him again-less tightly, as she was worried about making Mason sick again-Mason made up his mind. It was now or never, do or don’t, live or die.

Prying his twin off of him carefully, Mason gave her a sad, yet determined look. All he wanted was to be done with all of this nonsense. Making sure she could see his eyes, he spoke clearly and affirmatively.

“I’m going back to Gravity Falls.”


End file.
